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: The trick, according to Finkel, Eastwick, and Saigal, is to avoid extremes in autonomy.Accept your date’s pass, redirect it slightly, and then return the ball— all with warmth and genuine interest in his or her responses.This acceptance and redirection is the push and pull that creates smoothness.Emotional, personal information exchange during first date conversation promotes powerful feelings of connection.Via Sam Gosling’s book, Snoop: What Your Stuff Says About You: Arthur Aron, a psychologist at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, is interested in how people form romantic relationships, and he’s come up with an ingenious way of taking men and women who have never met before and making them feel close to one another. Instead of talking about the World Cup or their favorite desserts, they shared their innermost fears or told the story of losing their virginity.

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