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[An evangelical book told me to stay pure until marriage.

I still have a stain on my heart.] But a matchmaking system based on fathers seeking daughters’ husbands that developed in the Muslim world doesn’t work as well for women who are in their 20s or 30s and usually have university degrees and successful careers before they start looking for a husband.

It should not be taken lightly, nor left to chance or hormones.

It should be taken as seriously as any other major decision in life--with prayer, careful investigation and family involvement.

When a young person decides to get married, the following steps often take place: This type of focused courtship helps ensure the strength of the marriage by drawing upon family elders' wisdom and guidance in this important life decision.

Family involvement in the choice of a marriage partner helps assure that the choice is based not on romantic notions, but rather on a careful, objective evaluation of the compatibility of the couple.

Matchmaker Abeer Ayaz, left; Beyond Chai co-founder and CEO Asad Ansari, center; and matchmaker Sadia Khan, right, discuss whom to set one of their matchmaking clients up with at a team meeting in Tysons.

(Julie Zauzmer/The Washington Post) When Sumayyah Baig’s family and friends tried to set her up with eligible Muslim men she might marry, they focused on all sorts of attributes: the men’s professions, their family backgrounds, their ethnicity. All she wanted was a person she would click with, who would share her values. I just wanted them to have the same belief system,” she said.

muslim dating system-10

In 11 years of this cycle, Dhū al-Ḥijjah has 30 days, and in the other 19 years it has 29. No months are intercalated, so that the named months do not remain in the same seasons but retrogress through the entire solar, or seasonal, year (of about 365.25 days) every 32.5 solar years.

"Dating" as it is currently practiced in much of the world does not exist among Muslims.

Young Muslim men and women (or boys and girls) do not enter into one-on-one intimate relationships, spending time alone together and "getting to know one another" in a very deep way as a precursor to selecting a marital partner.

“Being an American Muslim, being, I would say, an independent, I would think liberal, Muslim woman — that wasn’t really a method that worked for me,” Baig said. Beyond Chai and other Muslim dating services are seeing a surge of interest right now, as they cater to a generation hovering in between two norms — not interested in the customs their immigrant parents followed in the Muslim world, but also uninterested in finding a non-Muslim partner on a general-interest dating app.

Instead, she signed up for Beyond Chai, a Muslim matchmaking service run by a team of Internet-savvy young Muslim adults based in the D. Some young Muslims, who might have once considered marrying outside their faith, have become increasingly interested in finding a partner who shares their religion due to the political focus on Muslims in America in the past two years, the people behind these dating services say. I need someone else who’s also proud to be part of my group.'” [What happens when tragedy strikes Muslims during Ramadan] Beyond Chai, founded two years ago, saw a surge of interest after the inauguration of President Trump, who said “I think Islam hates us” and proposed banning Muslims from the country while on the campaign trail, then ordered a ban on travelers from seven majority-Muslim countries just days after becoming president.

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